Going Back to Work After 20 Years as a Stay-At-Home Mom

Holy smokes!  What have I got myself into?!?

My First Day of Work!

After nearly 21 years as a stay-at-home mother, I have decided it's time to go back to college.  I'd been toying with the idea off and on for several years, but it never seemed to be the right time.  6 years ago, I was preparing to enter the work force full time.  My kids were in school full-time, my online business was BOOMING, and I was putting out feelers for people I could hire as employees.  I was ready to take the leap.  All the sudden, after 10 years of infertility, I wound up pregnant.

When we started having children the first time around, my husband and I agreed that we would not bring children into this world, if I was going to hire someone to raise them. So, I put my personal aspirations aside, and put all my energy into being the best mother I could be.  I'm certainly not the best in the WORLD by any stretch of the imagination.  But I was the best I could be.

When I wound up pregnant with our third, I put aside my aspirations again, and prepared for another round of motherhood.  Then, 6 months later, BOOM! The pregnancy bomb hit again.  We were going to have a fourth.  This time, he was special needs.  All my attention was needed to care for him, so I sold my online business and got serious about this mothering thing.

It's been nearly 5 years now, and little Jacob has one more year until he's in school full-time. This year he will be gone approximately 4 hours in pre-school and therapies.  So, after much discussion with my husband, and exhaustive research, we decided that NOW was the time for me to get my education so that I could re-enter the workforce next year when he starts school.

Luckily, I had one year of college under my belt from before we were married, and I had taken 12 courses (yes, that's 6 per semester).  Most of those classes still transfer after all these years (crazy, huh?).  So, I am going to major in Addiction Studies (or Sociology, depends on what the counselor says when I talk to her next week).

I am working toward getting my ISAS - Idaho Student of Addiction Studies certificate - which only requires 8 classes (2 quarters of classes for me) and 300 internship hours.  Rather than taking the courses and THEN interning, I'm doing this backwards.  I have 1 month to get my hours while my oldest is still home from school and I have family to care for Jacob and minimize his shell-shock of me being gone.  Then, when Elisha goes off to college, I will also go back through online classes so that I can do my work while the little ones are in bed. My daughter and I will both be Sophomores in college - AT THE SAME TIME!

At the end of my two quarters, I will in essence be just a few classes away from graduating.  Until then, I am working 40-50 hour weeks this month, as an intern, learning all the in's and out's of addiction, case management, counseling and what-not.  Wish me luck!  And pray for me!  It's been a really really REALLY long time since I've been in the work force OR in college.  And I don't want this new endeavor to affect my family too terribly much.  But I think the time is right for me and our family.

Cross your fingers!

...Oh, and by the way, I went to work with two different sized earrings on.  Yeah, that's how I roll! :)

Savouring the Little Things

Yesterday my post was filled with negativity.  I am not a negative person.  I don't want negativity to eat up any more of my life than is absolutely necessary.

So, today, I choose to relish and share, but a mere moment of the blessing I call Jacob.

Two days ago it was spaghetti night.  Spaghetti is one of Jacob's favorite foods of all times.  Bar none.  It's always a treat to watch him eat spaghetti.  Not because he makes a ridiculous mess (because he does), or because he refuses to use a fork (which is also true), but by the sheer revelry he displays when savoring every last bite of his meal.

We're not talking a pile of spaghetti the size of an egg.  No way!  Jacob eats as much spaghetti as I, a full grown adult, eat.  I understand that lots of kids with Ds don't have an 'off' switch with food.  And we have yet to determine if Jake is that way yet - basically because all the rest of his siblings are athletes (and GIANT athletes at that - Elisha is 5'10" and Nathan is 6'2 - at age 15) and eat more than a football team combined when they're home.  So I have nothing to gauge his eating habits off of yet.

Anyway, I digress.  Back to Jake and his spaghetti fetish.

So we sat him down with his rather large serving of spaghetti.  As the rest of the family finished their meal, I looked over to watch Jake who had been unusually quiet.  He took one strand of spaghetti between his thumb and pointer finger (great fine motor skill practice, by the way!) and slowly pulled the noodle from the plate.  Pulling...pulling...pulling until the twelve inch string was lifted as high as his stubby little arm would go, dangling just above his mouth, enticing him to bite.

After a few seconds of watching the noodle wiggle in the air, he slowly lowered the very tip into his mouth and bit down with his lips - not his teeth.  Don't want to break the noodle, after all.  Then, he sucked, slowly drawing it into his mouth, until only a few inches remained.   As he sucked, his eyes rolled back into his skull in absolute bliss, then he closed his eyelids, half smiling at the taste of his favorite food. Then he pulled the noodle out again, sans the sauce.

Next, he repeated step 1, however, this time, he sucked harder, letting go of the noodle with his hand, and allowing the strand to flip and flop around his mouth as it got shorter and shorter, and disappeared.  Smack!  All gone.

He took a moment to chew the soft pasta and swallow, then looked at his plate and half smiled again before rooting around for another perfect noodle to repeat the process.

As I watched Jake eating his spaghetti, I was struck by how important the little things are - not only to him - but to all of us.  If we continue to get caught up in all the big stuff - then how can we appreciate the little things?

If I continue to worry about making sure all of the bills are paid on time, or keeping the house spotless (which it is NOT) how can I appreciate the fact that my husband works DANG HARD to make sure that I have the opportunity to stay at home with our little ones full time? I get to make sure they know their alphabet, hold them when they wake up from their nightmares crying, laugh with them when they run circles in the living room chasing one another, teach them to be kind to others and to take responsibility for their actions, and raise them to be productive parts of society.  This is especially true with Jake because he needs just a smidgen more time than his siblings.  And I'm blessed with the opportunity to be that kind of mom because my husband makes it so.


 I am blessed to be able to watch Jake savor his spaghetti, or run around pretending to be a robot from Megamind, or run in circles when the music comes on, or drive Courtney to school and pick her up, and volunteer at her school once a week.  I'm blessed to be there when Nathan gets home every day and to be able to ask him about his day, and tease him about girls.

Ah, what a tremendously blessed life I have.  Thank you, Jacob.  For showing me it's the little things in life worth enjoying.  All those little things begin to add up into one great big - giant even - epiphany of happiness.   Life is good.

Birthdays and Buddies

What a crazy busy week it's been!

Jake had is fourth birthday on Saturday (Wahoo!) and it was surprisingly low-key.  What I love about this age is that there are no real expectations from the little ones.  He didn't care that I bought him a cake.  He didn't care that the gifts never actually got wrapped - he liked playing with the bags for days afterwards.

He LOVED the car we bought him.  It had buttons for him to push that created sounds and flashing lights on the top of the hood, then the car moved forward - fast if he was on the linoleum.  The sounds drove the rest of the family crazy, but I think that was part of the mystique for Jake.

For quiet times, we bought him several small dump trucks, front loaders, bucket trucks, etc.  They're perfect for the palm of his hand and he can carry them anywhere, which is a bonus for him.

And, of course, a magic microphone to help encourage his speech.

Like I said: Low key, but nice.

Tuesday we dressed him up in his knight costume and the little ones went trunk or treating at our church.  He's been munching on candy all week.  I will be soooooooo happy when the candy is gone!












And yesterday, I got to see Josh, Jake's NICU buddy - also with Down syndrome, who was born the day after Jake.  Josh and his mom came to town and we got to spend a little over an hour catching up with one another as Josh had his monthly chemo and check-up.

I am so lucky to know Marla and Josh.  Not only because they're a great family, but how many people have the opportunity to have a child nearly the EXACT same age as your own to kind of guage things off of?  I can look at Josh and realize that he's a much better talker than Jake, but Jake is taller and bigger (probably due to genetics and the drugs from the cancer).  Both of us are going through potty training right now, and have discovered that both boys are doing it backwards from our other kids - mastering pooping in the toilet first, then peeing.  Who knew???

It's been a great reminder that we're all in the same boat, our kids do things a little differently, and sometimes slower than non Ds kids, but we're all getting it.  And, really, would you want it any other way?  Nope.  Not me.  I love Jake just the way he is.  He enriches my life in so many ways that I wouldn't have experienced if he didn't have Trisomy 21.  He makes me a better mother.  A better person.  And that's what it's all about, right?  Being the best person you can be.  Sigh.  Life is good. :)