Starting Second Grade Already?

He's off! Jake just boarded his bus, bound for second grade, and I'm not gonna lie.  I'm doing the happy dance!  Today is the first day in MONTHS that I've had all to myself. I'm resisting the urge to go back to bed.  I have way too much to do to catch up after an entire summer with kids in tow.

This summer has been amazing though.  After an ENTIRE SCHOOL YEAR in which the teacher did nothing.  I kid you not. Nothing.  I'd walk into class and find kids standing on the table, others running around, shelves cleared, and no work being done; Despite countless meetings and discussions with principals and Directors of Special Education, therapists, and everyone I could talk to, Jacob digressed instead of progressed last school year.  There was no inclusion last year.  How could we when he had begun hitting and spitting again? When he was found in the middle of a five-lane road, within feet of an active railroad line, and at a school that borders a highway? I spent most of last year clawing my out of a pit created by a teacher who didn't care about the progress of the kids.

I may have cried when I found out he was getting a new teacher--one he'd had in preschool and is gung-ho about making sure the kiddos have the best education possible.

The second Jacob started Summer break, I went about the business of fixing everything that broke during school.  We went to a developmental neurologist who recommended a book, "1-2-3 Magic" By Dr. Thomas W. Phelan - Because it's 18 months later and we STILL didn't have an ABA provider for Jake. Two days into implementing the book, and we began to see results.  MAJOR results.

He went from flopping and throwing tantrums for thirty minutes at a time, kicking, screaming, spitting, and attempting to bite, to 10 seconds of showing displeasure, then complete compliance.  No drugs (he was diagnoses with ADHD and they wanted to put him on Ritalin). No spankings.  No arguing. No frustration.  He is now manageable. Hallelujah!

He's beginning to talk too.  When he gets made, he'll sign entire sentences to me, which I try not to laugh at. But it's so darn cute to see him scowling as his little hands are gesticulating wildly telling me why he's upset. I love it!  When he speak,s he signs and tries to speak the words at the same time.  Every day he gets a little bit closer to being understandable. And he's gone from saying one syllable of one word, to trying to say two or three words at a time.  It's glorious!

His independence is increasing too.  Last year he wanted me to dress him and make his food. Now he dresses himself, and is beginning to work the microwave to help me fix him simple meals too.  I expect he'll be making his own sandwiches and other foods by the end of the school year.

Plus, there haven't been any elopements in months.  My stress levels are dropping and I'm having opportunities to enjoy my son, rather than just manage him.

Life is good.  Change is good--as long as it's in the right direction.  My little boy is growing up.  Not only physically, but emotionally and cognitively.  I think I'm gonna just sit here on my first day of school and bask in that knowledge for a little while.  Yeah.  Life IS good.

9 Reasons Why I'm Grateful My Son Has Down Syndrome

I am a member of several Down syndrome support groups. Because of my schedule, I don't get to meet with many other parents in person, so I choose to stay in touch online and offer support as needed via the Internet.

There are a surprising number of parents who find out about their child's Down syndrome diagnosis and then join support groups in a tissy because they are worried about how bad it will be to have a child with Trisomy 21.

Now that Jacob is nearly seven, I like to think I have a bit of experience. So, to all those parents who just found out their child has Down syndrome, let me congratulate you. You've won the lottery! You will now get to raise one of the most amazing children on the planet!!

Why do I think that? Let me give you nine reasons:

1. They love unconditionally. I thank my lucky stars each and every day for Jacob.  He is the kind of person who doesn't care what you look like, smell like, or think like.  He doesn't care if you're young (though he is partial to babies and children smaller than him), old, middle-aged, black, white, tan, green, or purple. He loves you. If you grump. He ignores it (for the most part).  If you grump at him, he gets over it pretty fast and loves you anyway.  Every day he teaches me to look beyond the cover, and see what's inside.  That's where a person's true value lies, and everyone is worth loving.

2. They give more than they take. Yes, children with Down syndrome require extra work, extra patience, and often extra care. But they seem to give back tenfold.  When ever I need to smile. Jacob gives me seven. And then he laughs until I'm giggling right next to him.  If I need a hug, he'll snuggle all day long if I want.  If I need some company, he's happy to tag along wherever I go, regardless of what I'm doing.  If I need love, he will smother me with kisses and adoration.  If I need space, he's happy to give me some of that too. The boy's a giver.

3. They are intuitive to other's needs. I am constantly amazed at how in tune Jacob is to the needs of others around him. Granted, sometimes he still says, "screw you!", but most of the time, he senses our moods and our needs and works extra hard to give them to us.  If I'm sick, that's the day he decides to hang around, watching Netflix while cocooning at my feet. Most days, I'm running after him screaming, "get back here!" If I'm angry and need space, he usually gives it to me. If  need a hug, all the sudden he's in my face cuddling.  He's that way with others - family and strangers alike.  It's interesting to see how many strangers he interacts with and they tell me how badly they needed that time and energy from him.

4.  They teach us to stop and smell the roses. Oh, this one he's taught me six ways, side ways and upside down.  Jake is a quick learner, and he is extremely capable for a child with Ds. But if he doesn't want to learn something, or he doesn't see the value of it, nothing I do or say will make it happen. Instead, I'm forced to move at half a snail's pace, learning to appreciate the blessings I do have, feel the energy of those around us, take time to appreciate the scenery, and literally learn the joys and mysteries of playing with sticks. And I highly recommend it to anyone who is reading this. I'm a person who finds a task or chooses a goal and puts on my blinders, moving a million miles per minute until I achieve it. Jacob has taught me that not all who wander are lost.

5. They teach us that the opinions of others do not matter. On those rare occasions when someone is mean or cruel based off of Jacob's disability, or if they say something out of ignorance, it is easy to become offended, hurt or angry.  Those are the moments when I observe Jacob and realize, he doesn't really care what others think of him. He's on this earth to love and enrich those around him.  If someone wants to be his friend, then great! Join the masses.  If not, no worries.  Haters are gonna hate and he's not concerned with their opinions.

6. They teach us what is truly important in life. Before Jake was born, I used to think that having one's health was the most important thing.  If we had nothing else, then we would be fine. Then I had Jacob. And he was NOT healthy.  I spent many nights in the hospital gazing at my sleeping son with mottled skin, and labored breathes, wondering what was truly important.  If not health, then what? Then it occurred to me that the truly important things are not things. They're love and relationships, not matter how fleeting.  Money runs dry, health deteriorates, friends move on, family can be conditional.  But love conquers all, and healthy relationships will help a person survive virtually anything.

7. They teach us to never give up. My child is not a quitter. Yeah, it may take him longer to learn something. It may not. But when he puts his mind to it, hell itself won't keep him from achieving his task. Fall down seven times, get up eight? Psht. Amateurs. Fall down 57 times, get up 58.

8. They help us learn to serve others. One of the hardest things I learned to do while Jake was in the hospital was to accept help. I'm the sort of person who can plan a seven course meal with the mayor, fix your sprinkler system, sew a dress, and build you a website. With nine siblings, our parents taught us to do just about everything. And if we didn't know how, by golly open up a book and learn!  So when I was no longer able to do everything, I had to ask for (and accept) help from others.  For a very long time.  I'm talking years.  But this experience helped me learn what it feels like to ask for help, receive help, and how important it is to offer and serve others with the right attitude. Oh what a difference is makes to walk a mile in another's shoes.

9. They are unfiltered. Jacob's inability to filter his reactions is one of my favorite things about him. I always know where I stand with him. Always.  If he's upset at me, I know it. If he's happy. I'll get the biggest grin on the planet. If he's feeling playful, be prepared for lots and lots of zerberts. If he's said, he'll let me know.  I don't have to second guess, or interpret him. For a non-verbal child, Jacob is incredibly expressive.

After seven years, heart surgeries, countless medical procedures, and all the issues we've had with speech, etc. I still wouldn't trade my Jacob for anything in the world.  If I was told before he was born what his childhood would be like, I still would have chosen to keep him. Because, from beginning to end, Jacob has been one of our greatest blessings.

Growth Spurt!

Oh my goodness!  My child is growing. 

Whomever said my child was going to be small because he has Down syndrome had no idea what they were talking about!

Jacob is 18 months younger than his sister, and already weighs more than her.  Okay, in her defense, she's still a foot taller than him, but Jake is a TANK.

You wouldn't know it if you saw him.  But the child is dense.  Somewhere underneath that belly of his, there's a six-pack. Maybe a 12-pack!

Since he finished school in June of last year, he has grown FOUR SIZES.  That's not a typo. Four sizes.  He finished school a 4T last year.  He is now outgrowing his 7's.  Well, sort of.  His waist is too big for the 7's, but the pant legs are about 3 inches too long.

When I put him in 6X's, the pants would be obscene if he weren't still in diapers, but the legs are just the right length.  But that's alright. They match perfectly with all his muscle shirts!

So this week, I'm buying him a whole new wardrobe (again), and breaking out the sewing machine to hem up all his pants.

I guess in the grand scheme of things, a growth spurt (or three) is a good thing, right?