Boo Boos and Buses

Today is a short entry...thank goodness.  

It's not my favorite, but it's part of life. 

Yesterday was picture day at the school.  Wahoo!  It's always fun to see how much Jake has changed from year to year.  

He chose out his own shirt, we put mousse in his hair to keep the cowlicks at bay, and he was stylin' by the time we were outside waiting for the bus.  

Three minutes before the bus was to arrive, as luck would have it, he was running up the driveway and tripped.  This isn't one of those oops-I-tripped-now-I'm-going-to-get-back-up kind of trips.  Oh no.  Not my Jake.  It was more like a trip over your own feet, skid for 3 feet, and check to see if any teeth are missing kind of trips.  

When the bus arrived, I had a white washcloth that had blood all over it, my T-shirt was bloody, and I was still picking debris out of his mouth from the roadway.  Plus, he had a road rash the size of a silver dollar on the bottom of his chin.  Yeah, school pictures are gonna be fantastic this year.  Not. :|

On the upside, Jake is beginning to really start babbling.  I'm hearing tons more consonants coming out of his mouth, and he's trying to say entire phrases (yes!!!!!).  This morning it was "I did it!" and this afternoon, he said "buh..." as a school bus drove by.  I squealed.  It's the little things when it comes to speech for him.  And progress is still progress.  It's great to finally see some coming out of his mouth!

But, of course, we couldn't leave this little entry on a good note.  Because it's important to see that Jake is multifaceted.  He's smart, he's feisty, he's funny, he's clumsy, and...he's a runner.  

Today when the bus came (and I silently celebrated a no-trip day), I walked four steps to get his back pack.  I kid you not.  FOUR steps. In those four steps, he decided that standing still was not enough.  After all, he saw the bus and he wanted to get on!  So when I turned my back, he put on the gas, and ran out into the middle of the street to great the bus.  GAH!!!!  I don't think I've ever ran so fast as I did trying to drag him from the middle of the road.  Luckily, the bus was still 1/2 a block away and she slowed the second she saw him step foot on the street.  But it's scary nonetheless.  And the driver and her aid had a good laugh about the situation - thank goodness!

Stretching the Limits

This week my son turns three.  THREE!!!  How can that be?  It seems as if just months ago we were in the hospital fighting for his life, trying desperately to get him to gain the few precious pounds he needed for his heart surgery.

Now, we're beginning to transition from our early-intervention program, which consists of 2 hours twice a week to pre-school through the school district, which is 4 hours four times per week.

This move entails testing to see how far he has progressed in the three years of early-intervention.  It also allows the school district an opportunity to see where he's at developmentally, and how far he must progress in order to reach the capabilities of 'normal' children his age.

When I arrived at my 'meet the staff' meeting where we would establish his IEP (Individualized Education Programs) for the next couple years, I came prepared to be told that my son, Jacob, needed more therapy to keep up developmentally with the 'normal' kids.  And, although these well-meaning individuals come equipped with degrees and years of experience working with children with disabilities, none of them had met Jacob.  All they knew about him was based on predispositions and what was written on paper.

When I sat down at the table for our meeting I was faced with six staff members who would be caring for my child in one capacity or another for the next 2-3 years.  Each of the ladies were wonderful, personable, and truly had a desire to better Jacob's life.

The first person to speak was Jacob's new Physical Therapist.  She took out his test results based on the Peabody system and proceeded to tell me that there were many things they'd be working on with my son to get him 'up to speed'.  Then she asked me,

      "The test says he walks forward and backward.  Does he run?"

     "Yes,  he was running in the hallways on the way into class.  And he's really quite fast.  I need to work to keep up with him."

     "Oh."  She flashes a confused look on her face, and writes something on her paper.  "Does he walk up stairs?"

     "Yes.  Yesterday he was walking up the stairs one foot per stair unassisted.  He walks down the stairs with the help of the railing, putting two feet on each step, before proceeding to the next."

     "Really?"  the therapist comments, before scribbling on her paper again. "How about jumping?"

     "Take him out to the parking lot and he'll jump all over the parking blocks without effort.  He gets more air than his 4 year old sister does when she jumps."

     "It says here that he can throw a ball 3 feet."

     "Actually, he throws it across the room.  I'm trying to keep him from breaking windows right now."

What this therapist had forgotten is that although Jacob has Down syndrome, he is also a boy...a child.  And like every other child in this world, he has a personality and his capabilities differ in some degree from every other child whether that child has Down syndrome or not.

In this case, he just didn't like his previous Physical Therapist.  Not that she was a bad person; their personalities just clashed, so he refused to test for her for nearly a year.

I had to explain to the new Physical Therapist that Jacob is strong as an ox.  He can do pull-ups on our kitchen table, opens doors, runs, jumps, and does all the things a normal little boy does. In fact I'd hazzard a guess that he can do more.

I had a discussion with the Occupational Therapist about the fact that Jacob tested within the limits of 'normal' in his progression.  The previous OT suggested NO OT for him. At ALL.  This is absolutely unheard of for a child with Downs because they typically have low muscle tone and have a hard time with fine motor skills.  I ultimately agreed with their suggestion that he continue OT because I'd noticed that he cannot work his fingers independently for sign language, and it would ensure he doesn't fall behind in the future.  Besides, can you really have too much therapy?

Even speech therapy came with a few surprises for the ladies.  Up until 2 months ago (that would have made Jake 34 months old - nearly 3), Jacob could not/would not say a single word.  Part of it was due to hearing difficulties - he's had 3 sets of tubes, finally the T-Tubes they put in 2 months ago have stayed and we're seeing progress - and part of it was out of sheer stubbornness.  Now, in the past 2 months, we've seen a massive break-through in speech.  He now knows more than 30 signs, and has voiced 12 words.  This week alone he's said three new words.  That revelation elicited gasps and ooh!'s from the staff. This is in addition to the fact that he points to anything he can't sign or say, shakes his head yes and no, and is perfectly capable of making his wants and needs known in one way or another.  The progression is coming fast and furious!

'So what is the moral of this story?' you ask.

It's simple.  These ladies came into our meeting expecting, based off of predispositions and the statements of others, to see a child who was completely different from the one I presented them.

I, on the other hand, have never had a child with disabilities before.  And I refuse to assume that because of an extra chromosome, he is destined to be an un-thinking, barely-functioning part of society whose role will never be any more important than bagging groceries at the local grocery store, or being the 'happy boy'.  For that reason, I do not give him limits.  In fact, I try to defy them any chance I get.

When they told me that the earliest a child with Downs had ever learned to walk in their program was 16 months, I worked with Jacob until he could walk at 14 months.  When he failed to progress with his PT evaluations at age 2, I went out and bought all the toys needed to help him reach his missed goals.  It was that day, after 2 hours of play time and watching him achieve each of his 'missed' goals that I realized he was just fine.  He was merely stubborn.  Just like all the rest of my children.

That's not to say that I expect Jacob to be the next Einstein, or a neurosurgeon, or an 8th grade English teacher.  But when there are people with Down syndrome in the world who are world-renowned musicians, mayors of cities, music teachers, and a bevy of other roles in society, I have hope.  I remember that my child, though different, is still important, and has a purpose here on this earth.  The range of abilities for people with Downs syndrome is just as broad as the range of abilities of those without an extra 21st chromosome.  Our job as parents, caretakers, and service providers, is to take those abilities or preconceived notions and to give our children a chance to defy them.

If we give our children an opportunity to defy their 'limits' we enable them the chance to experience a better life for themselves.  Society once thought those with developmental disabilities should be institutionalized.  I still believe we are limiting our DD population by not expecting more of them.  It is my hope that we will treat each person as an individual, challenge them to stretch and progress to the best of their abilities, and only then, be satisfied with the end result.

2 Year Anniversary! How Time Flies

I nearly fell out of my chair a couple weeks ago when my 17-year-old posted on Facebook that it was Jacob's 2-year anniversary for his heart surgery.

Had it already been 2 years?  Really?  I feels like it was just a few months ago. But then I began watching my little boy and all he can do, and realize that yes, indeed, our little boy is growing up!

Jacob is now 2 years, 4 months and 3 days old, but whose counting?

Aside from his heart surgery 2 years ago, he has only had two surgeries - twice putting tubes in his ears, one of those included removing his adenoids.  We've been pretty doggoned lucky with our little boy considering all the things that CAN go wrong, but haven't. 

After 2 solid months of crying, he finally took to his on-site therapies and is now pushing me out the door so he can play with his 'girlfriend'.  I'm told they spend much of their time giving each other hugs and playing with one another whenever the opportunity arises.

After months of agonizing about whether or not Jacob was going to communicate with us in ANY way, he has finally found the need to communicate via sign language about a month ago.  He now knows 12 signs and is FINALLY beginning to babble a little bit. 

Our physical therapist claims that he is lagging physically in things like throwing a ball, playing catch and walking backward.  Jake just looks at me and smiles because we both know he's an expert at basketball, soccer, and throwing tennis balls at his big brother's eye.  Likewise, if he finds my cellphone laying around, he's able to grab the phone, run backwards at break-neck speed to make sure I'm not following, then turn mid-stride to sprint forward to safety with phone in hand, giggling all the way in his mischievous little voice.  Yeah.  We're not too concerned about this one.

Don't let those big brown eyes fool you!  He's a crafty little one!!!  Stay tuned for new Jacob stories.  The little rugrat is on the loose - and giggling every step of the way!!

Love,

The Allreds

Jacob @ 23 Months

So Much has happened in the last several months.  It's hard to believe that it's already been 6 months since his 1 year anniversary for his heart surgery.  But what an exciting 6 months it has been.

Although life has not been without its ups and downs over the last several months, I'm finally beginning to get a grasp of what my new "normal" life is going to be.  It's a life filled with therapy visits, doctors appointments, sickness - big and small, giggles, celebrations of the little things in life, and absolute bliss as I enjoy watching my little boy learn and grow.  I am often amazed at how little his Down syndrome affects his personality, and how he truly is just a little boy - albeit a LITTLE little boy. 

In recent months, we've had two visits to the hospital emergency room.  The first, in June, was because he woke up rasping and wheezing for breath.  I called the Dr. and, in light of his medical history, they sent us directly to the Sacred Heart Medical Center's emergency room.  NOT the Valley Hospital emergency room, which was 1 mile away.  Nope.  We got Sacred Heart - a specialty hospital that was a 30 minute drive away.  Luckily, we got there and they quickly discovered that it was some phloem in his throat.  Nothing to worry about.  Go home.   Woohoo!!!!

Then, the week before Labor Day, Nathan was sick with stomach aches and lots of time in the bathroom.  Inevitably, Jacob got it.  However, it didn't just stop with stomach aches and diarrhea.  Soon the stool turned reddish brown (which resulted in a doctor's visit verifying there was, indeed, blood in his stool).  Then, by the next day, it was all mucous and blood - no stool.  THAT was another emergency room visit, which resulted in an ambulance visit, to Deaconess Hospital just down the street from Sacred Heart.  Originally they seemed to think that he had Inception, which is where the large and small intestines telescope into one another.  It's something that can be life threatening.  However, after 3 days in the hospital, a few visits from the specialists, and lots of cultures, it was determined that Jacob just (relatively speaking, of course!) had Salmonella. 

So, we were sent home with the instructions to keep him at home and away from people until he no longer had diarrhea.  Sadly, Courtney got it shortly after, and that set off an entire month of quarantine of the little ones from the rest of the world. 

Now, all is right medically, and Jacob is finally back into his therapy sessions and Courtney is back to loving her "Courtney Days" every time he goes to therapy.

We recently had his 6-month assessment with all of the therapists and it's not looking good.  Of course all the time he has spent sick and out of therapies has not helped much.  Rather than being 3 months behind developmentally, he tested as being 9-12 months behind.  So each of the therapists gave me a list of new goals for Jacob for the next 6 months, I immediately went out and bought a bunch of items to help him work on his goals at home, and by the end of the night, he'd already achieved four of his goals. 

I began to think that I was BRILLIANT!!!!  Look at all the progress I'd done with him in just one night.  Then I realized.  Um, nope.  The boy was just to stubborn to perform on command for the ladies.  He could do it all along.  He just didn't WANT to when they asked him to.  Doh!!!

Beyond life as a boy with disabilities, I've had such a pleasure enjoying Jacob as just A BOY.  He may be almost 2, but he still looks like he's only 1 because he's so small!  So I'm often underestimating him.  Not a day goes by when I'm amazed at how quickly he can run (and I mean RUN) from disaster area to disaster area, tearing things off the shelves, emptying the entire Tupperware drawer all over the kitchen and living room, climbing the couches to get to things that I thought were out of reach, grabbing the toilet paper and TP'ing the house 3 times over, finding where I'd 'hidden' my phone and dialing grandpa at 7 a.m. while he's still asleep, and so on and so forth. 

Occasionally I get tired of running after him and cleaning up his messes and just sit and watch the chaos unfold, or play games, or just cuddle with him and Courtney.  I'm sure KC comes home and wonders what the heck I've been doing all day to have the house end up in such a mess.  But having had so many close calls with Jacob has made me realize the importance of the little things.

Having lived the first three months of his life without a smile on his face, has made me revel in his giggles when he's tickled by his daddy.  Working so hard to get him walking at 14 months, helps me to marvel at his speed as he's running full speed away from me in an attempt to keep me from grabbing my phone back from him.  All those months of feeding tubes remind me that his constant choice to fling ALL his food onto the ground and then eat it off the ground instead of his plate is small compared to the achievement that comes with being able to EAT at all! 

I love to watch the devious gleam in his eye when he tries to play 'keep away' from me with his favorite ball.  I can't help but crack a tiny smile when he flings himself onto the floor in a temper tantrum, trying to express himself when he still cannot talk and has so few signs to use (but that's only because he's too stubborn to sign!).  He's such an expressive little boy who can communicate everything he wants to say with his facial expressions, pointing, and other nuances of communication.

Even at such a young age, I KNOW life with Jacob will never be dull.  It will never be mundane.  And it will never be a waste of time. 

Life with Jacob is pure, unadulterated joy!